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Fire Emblem Mafia • View topic - The Day

The Day

home of the one and only

The Day

Postby Matthew G Amato

When the night was over, you all awoke to chaos. Lots of corpses lay about the main room

Well, this did end how I anticipated! Let's inspect the wreckage and see what we find, yeah? Let's try and go with a chronological flow of the night! (the killer is bolded in each line)

1. Well no sooner did you all turn your backs did dak4 go over to dak12 and, well, destroy him. Just look at that corpse! dak12 was:

You are lambastdragonball, a fake. you like to watch dragonball, possibly on youtube. and possibly all 279 episodes. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


It looks as if dak4 had taken out his rage on his possible clone! (dak4 kills dak12, who was Lightwolf)

2. Next up, it appears that dak15 invoked his powers as president to declare war on dak27. Needless to say, dak27 was mangled beyond belief. possible causes of death include intense waterboarding or abacination. dak27 was:

You are groovyman, a fake. You live in a funkadelica, the one nation under a groove. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


such a crime; groovyman had just gotten the funk back from a known funk thief. (dak15 kills dak27, who was the billymills)

3. dak27 may have been dead, but his soul lived on! It seems his soul inspired the other daks to funk. Funk real hard. Sadly, upon inspection of the corpse of dak19, it seems as though he funked so hard, he forgot to breathe! dak19 was:

You are lambasterd, a fake. I've still yet to figure out this one, but it's probably because you can't spell. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


maybe God can teach him how to spell in the afterlife... (dak27 kills dak19, who was Reyscarface)

4. While dak4 was busy doing questionable things in the night, such as possibly murdering other men, dak18 was suspiciously watching him, and then took the opportunity to strike down the distracted dak-jones clone. dak4 was:

You are d_jones, a fake. the d does stand for dak, but you are just dak jones, the inferior clone uncle. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


A failed clone of the superior uncle jones, he was put out of his misery. (dak18 kills dak4, who was evan)

5. dak10, yacht owner, decided he was going to rest on his boat over the night. He invited dak17 to spend the night on that boat, who readily obliged; who doesn't love boats? His corpse was found floating in the lake outside of Inner Space; witnesses say they heard a man repeatedly shouting "ITS FUTILE, YOU CAN'T LEAVE! THERE ARE NO NPCs!" dak17 was:

You are baronjones, a fake. you live in inner space, you hang around with a circus troupe outside the human race. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


Sad, poor man. The boat has destroyed many a man. (dak10 kills dak17, who was GTS)

6. It appears that during that time, dak8 was looking for dak17 to invite him on a bus. Sadly, he was too late; dak17 was already dead. (dak8 double targetted dak17, who was the already dead GTS)

7. Engraged at seeing so many of himself die, without taking a part in it himself, dak14 powers up and throws a condensed Spirit Bomb at dak23! dak23 was:

You are dakiri, a fake. your twin is daquiri. you hate him because q > k. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


It appears his twin was nowhere to be found. Well, neither was the corpse; it's a well known fact that the Spirit Bomb vaporizes its enemies. (dak14 kills dak23, who was Scrubs)

8. At that site of such a gruesome vaporization, dak24 proclaims that he has a master plan: he will kill dak1 by sending him back to nothingness. dak1 was sucked into eternal nothingness, with only the company of himself. dak1 was:

You are the great one, a fake. You are borne from the great jones, your possible brother-uncle. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


possibly the greatest man to exist, rendered to nothing. dak24's plan succeeded in murdering the great one, but not the REAL one. A failed plan. (dak24 kills dak1, who was Kannon)

9. dak29 prepares his own master plan: dak7 was die, because dak29 is the only sieben around! He challenged him to a game of real life ragnarok fighting; dak7 lost pretty miserably. dak7 was:

You are kemal, a fake. a chav from essex and an associate-cousin of suspicious men. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


Is cool; no one really mourns the death of a chav. Putrid folk, really. (dak29 kills dak7, who was Jimbo)

10. It appears dak1 had a back up killing plan in the event of his death. He was, after all, the great one. dak26 was thoroughly bombarded with promulgations from all over the speaker system, proclaiming the great one as, in fact, the greatest. He was so tired of hearing it all, he jumped off the building! dak26 was:

You are mediocreman, a fake. mediocre at best. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


a pretty poor way to die, don't you agree? (dak1 kills dak26, who was blue_light)

11. dak13 was found dead shortly after. His body was all scarred and bruised, bleeding all over. One can tell that some of those scars and bruises were from being the workhorse of society, the working man. The others certainly did not help him in his quest to survive, as he appears to have died from much blood loss. dak13 was:

You are proletariat, a fake. A working class man, the lifeblood of a kingdom. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


Some recall hearing dak9 bragging about how he was showing a young dak look alike about the value of having many battle scars. They say that dak9 was lashing the young working man to produce a man as battle scarred as he was. (dak9 kills dak13, who was Amelia)

12. At this time, the spirit of dak19, intent on showing everyone that he learned how to spell, stalked dak26. He was intent on etching the mark of lambasterd into him. Sadly, dak26 was dead when dak19 came to him; it appears dak19 is not only a spelling failure, but can't properly stalk anyone either! (dak19 double targets dak26, the already dead blue_light)

13. dak23 had actually had two things on his mind at this meeting of the daks: 1. terminating dak and 2. terminating his twin. in the event of his failure, he invented a clone of himself, the dakiri. The dakiri clone set out to kill dak13...who was already dead when the clone got there. This was not in his programming, so the clone-twin self destructed. (dak23 double targets dak13, the already dead Amelia)

14. It appears that dak6 had set out to recruit dak7 into his secret regime, with secret intent on betraying and kill him like the rabid dogs they are. He was too late. (dak6 double targets dak7, the already dead Jimbo).

15. No one knows how this man, dak22, had masqueraded as dak. He was, after all, a deceitful worm of a man always looking for loopholes. dak22 went after dak8, poisoning with lethal amounts of Lysergic acid diethylamide-25. dak8 was:

You are bus_wanker, a fake. HEY. HEY. keep your pants on, eh? You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


dak8 had a hardcore acid trip, so much so that he attempted to fly from the top of the mansion. He made a nice mark on the ground. (dak22 kills dak8, who was RB Golbat)

16. This was the most curious of dak clones: dak11. While everyone was busying trying to kill the real dak, dak11 was just hungry; all he had to eat was frozen pizza and moldy bread! With extreme hunger setting in, dak11 jumped dak15, fresh off the kill of dak27. dak15 was:

You are bardak, a fake. if b. obama and dak were to fuse, you would then become the first black man in germany. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


he even ate the secret service guarding him, too. (dak11 kills dak15, who was Thunda)

17. dak17 had ordered his minions to avenge him in the case of his death. His minion, robosaturn, decided that dak2 was the best possible man to kill; dak2 owned a social club and refused to let in the black robot! dak2 was:

You are buena vista social club, a fake. you are a host of many parties and activities in havana, cuba. you employ mostly dogs. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


remains were sent back to Cuba, to the reigning Michael Corleone and the Italian mafia. You may remember them, as they crushed all others and were led by a fearless leader and a certain (awesome) user. (dak17 kills dak2, who was the useless Phantasia)

18. "Curses!" shouts dak12, as he walked on Snake Way. "How long is this pathway?" dak12 then picks up a rock he finds on the long, windy road and tosses it into the clouds. Tragically, the rock falls back down to earth and smashes into the already lifeless corpse of dak27. (dak12 double targets dak27, the dead billymills)

19. a man of questionable intent and attitude seemed to be thinking in his room. "I think the real dak is already dead...and I think it was dak1." Just in case he wasn't, the questionable man dak21 sent over a mug of laced beer to the room of dak1, with the intent of poisoning him. Unfortunately for him, dak21 was wrong on both counts: the real dak was not dead and it was not dak1. Furthermore, dak1 was already dead. (dak21 double targets dak1, the already dead Kannon).

20. dak7[b] was a well known chav from Essex. I said no one would mourn his death, but I was wrong. Apparently, dak5 was so distraught over the chav's passing, he committed suicide. dak5 was:

You are artisan, a fake. I'd imagine you're a little higher up on the social food chain then proletariat. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


maybe he actually committed suicide because dak7 and dak13 were already dead and they were the only men lower than him in society. Regardless, this can all be blamed on dak7. (dak7 kills dak5, who was mattimeo)

21. a devious man, who was up to no good, decided he was going to smash the knee caps of dak17. Unfortunately for [b]dak20
, the knee caps of dak17 were already smashed. And his body was already dead. (dak20 triple targets dak17, the already dead GTS).

22. another man, who beared a striking resemblance to dakiri, and who was carrying a cocktail the whole time at the mansion, also seemed intent on getting rid of dak17. dak25 planned on doing this by having a drinking contest with dak17, hopefully getting the latter to die of alcohol poisoning before he himself went down. (dak25 quadruple targets dak17, the already dead GTS).

23. It appears that before dak5 met his untimely end via suicide, he had convinced dak24, who was nothing in the eyes of all, to do the same. dak24 was at first skeptical, but soon realized that nothingness is his existence. dak24 was:

You are nil, a fake. nothing imporant here, really. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


nothing important, nothing to do, no reason to live. his decision was simple. (dak5 kills dak24, who was Fishin).

24. a treelike man, with a total of 7 letters in both his real name and role name, desperately rushed out of his room at this time. dak28 was SO sure he sent up the bomb to dak7 earlier in the night, but he didn't hear an explosion. He travelled to dak7's room only to confirm his fears: dak7 was already dead and it wasn't from explosion-related injuries. (dak28 triple targets dak7, the already dead Jimbo).

25. At this time, dak16 whipped out his looting bag and 9mm pistol: it was time for a robbery. The plan? To bust into dak19's room and ask him to be cool while he robbed him. Ultimately, dak16 planned on shooting dak19 in the head, but it was not to be; dak19 was already dead and humiliated for his inability to spell. (dak16 double targets dak19, the already dead Reyscarface).

26. The working class man, dak13, was dead. But his working class buddies decided it was time for a revolution. One can say, there is nothing more dangerous than men who have nothing left to lose. Unfortunately for these men, they'd lost their brains and went in search of dak15, who, if you all remember, was thoroughly eating and likely digesting in dak11's stomach at this point. The proletarians would search the premises of Inner Space forever...(dak13 double targets dak15, the already dead Thunda).

27. a mediocre numbered dak, dak26, had decided he was going to kill dak5. He also believed dak5 to be mediocre. Sadly, mediocre dak26 has the mind of a mediocre 4th grader and didn't realize dak5 was dead. (dak26 double targets dak5, the already dead Mattimeo

28. Finally, dak3, was furious. Furious that he was the last to act in the night! So he furiously goes to dak22 and assaults him. He assaults him like the real dak would likely attempt to do. the wormlike dak22 was beaten to a bloody pulp! dak22 was:

You are baronbaronjones, a fake. an added baron, because you've just reached 25. artists travel from outside worlds just to see your rainbow jive. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


2 barons for extra authority! (dak3 kills dak22, who was the Earthworm).

29. Things didn't work out for dak2. He wanted to kill somebody, but he was killed himself. In his last conscious act, he wished that dak22 be killed. dak22 was already dead; dak2 was truly useless. (dak2 did not submit a kill, so he went after dak22 as per plan b).


...
...
...
upon further inspection, you'll notice that the real dak is still alive .

Alive daks include:
1. dak16, who was:

You are lambasto, a fake. be cool, this is a bank robbery and you are disguised to prevent identification on the new network. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Da Letter El

2. dak18, who was:

You are suspiciousman, a fake. you like to pretend you are a legitimate business man, but you are really just a shady individual. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Igor

3. dak6, who was:

You are baptista_regime, a fake. you couldn't even think of a name on your own, so you've taken this incorrect one. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Thorns

4. dak9, who was:

You are jones, a fake. old, wise, and battle scarred, you are dak's uncle from wales. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as askaninjask

5. dak14, who was:

You are the great jones, a fake. If jones turned super saiyan, he'd be you. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Ashley

6. dak28, who was:

You are tgj, a fake. An abbreviation cause abbreviations are awesome. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as gmax

7. dak29, who was:

You are daksieben, a fake. sonofabitch, you're a fake. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Mekkah

8. dak25, who was:

You are daquiri, a fake. almost the real thing, but you make a pretty mean drink. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as cookie

9. dak10, who was:

You are futile, a fake. YOUR EFFORTS TO LEAVE THE BOAT ARE IN VAIN. YOU CANNOT LEAVE. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Bass

10. dak20, who was:

You are deviousman, a fake. Up to no good again? You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as supermarth64

11. dak11, who was:

You are hungryman, a fake. Hungry but have only frozen pizza and moldy bread? Then you'd be this guy, too. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Accent

12. dak21, who was:

You are questionableman, a fake. Your actions are questionabe, your motives are questionable, and your attitude is questionable. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Raikage

13. dak3, who was:

You are furiousman, a fake. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. You must pm me with a target to kill during n0. You win if you kill the dak role.


also known as Flounder.

(man you guys did a really inefficient job of killing each other)

........astute observers notice that dak30 is missing.
And just then, the survivors hear a maniacal laugh

Image

You are dak, the real one! you can't do anything in the night, but if you happen to survive n0, you can post in the day topic "LAMBAST ALL USERS" causing your fury to destroy all remaining clones of you.


...lambasted thoroughly.

http://i47.tinypic.com/2d9s7l2.jpg (thing i used to coordinate this social experiment)
Matthew G Amato

 

Re: The Day

Postby dak30

LAMBAST ALL USERS
dak30

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